The Accident
by CaseyL
Summary: Just after the finale. My musings on what will happen at the beginning of season 2.
1. Chapter 1

I've been wondering how they're going to start season 2. I'm hoping they'll replay the car accident without the music. This is a scene I thought might happen when they come to. Mostly Deacon centric.

There was a cacophony of noise seeming to bore into his head, screeching, sliding, scraping, then suddenly silence, which was much worse, because with the silence came the pain. And not just the physical pain. Though the shard of glass sticking out of his leg was definitely a present sensation, the anguish of knowing what just happened and realizing that he caused it overshadowed everything else. A car accident. Again. With him in the passenger seat and a loved one crushed beside him in between the steering wheel and the leather seats he'd refinished last summer. That's what happened when he drank, misery. He'd known it for 13 years, and that's what had kept him sober.

He didn't want to look to the side, see her there, the woman he'd just been yelling at with all the passion and anger he possessed at his core. They always say it's a fine line between love and hate, and tonight he'd lived up to every inch of the cliché. He and Rayna had never fought like that, even when they were kids, but then again he'd never hated her this much before. She'd betrayed him, in the most personal way. She stole his child, their life together, his knowledge that she had always believed in him. She had given up hope on him, lost faith, and not just a few months ago when she read the article that he'd been drinking again, but years ago when they were still in love, when he still thought she was his. If the love of his life hadn't believed in him, why should he believe in himself. So the need to stay sober, to stave off the misery departed with a nod of her head telling him Maddie was his. She'd been lying to him, she hadn't wanted him - as her lover, as her partner, and as the father of her child.

But despite the betrayal he still loved her. Knew he always would, and that's why it took all his strength to turn his head and see her hanging there, upside down. The top of the car had smashed in just enough that her strawberry blond hair pooled in a clump a few inches away from her head. Slick red blood dripped from her forehead along the rosy strands making them seem even shinier than her normal glow. He reached out to touch her face, brush a strand away from her eyes, but there was no response.

"Ray. Ray, are you ok?"

But nothing. He could feel the heat of the tears beginning to burn his eyes, and his head was swimming from the crash and the sensation of being upside down. He had to remedy that, to get them out of there, away from the entanglement of the crushed metal. He reached to his side and unbuckled his seat belt. It came off quickly, hitting what could only be some sort of hole in his side, but no time to think of that now. He collapsed to the ceiling, scrunched in a ball. He managed to turn himself over and reach up to undo her belt while holding her so she wouldn't fall like he had. Hers was a bit trickier, he had to yank at it, and his side ached again.

Finally it came undone and she fell into his arms. For a moment the sensation of holding her again was too overwhelming. He wanted to stay there with her, pull her close. Breath in her scent, bury his face in her hair, but then the mineral scent of her blood reached his nostrils and he knew he had to get them out of there now. He lay her to the side of him as he kicked out what was left of the front window with his good leg. Then he carefully navigated the two of them through the jagged opening. He caught his side on a piece of glass and winced in pain again but kept moving.

Somehow he managed to get the two of them a good 20 ft from the totaled Suburban. When he looked down at his mangled leg he wasn't sure how he'd done it, but he'd heard stories of people doing crazier things than that to rescue loved ones. When he reached the side of the grass he collapsed with Rayna in his arms. He pulled her close to him and whispered in her ear. "Ray, it's going to be ok, just hold on."

And then he heard her normally commanding voice in less than a whisper. "Deacon, I'm so sorry."

"Shh, don't worry about it Ray. There'll be time for apologies later. "

"I love you so much, it's always been you. I want you to know that."

"I do know that Ray, and I love you too."

"Take care of Maddie for me. Make things right with Teddy, take care of our girl."

At this he got angry, but the tears were still streaming down his face so he knew he didn't speak with much authority.

"Don't you dare say that Ray. You fight. You fight for Maddie and Daphne, and for us."

She reached up to touch his face but it slid off his cheek just as her hand made contact with his slick skin. Her eyes closed again and she relaxed in his arms. He pulled her even closer. "Oh god no. Just stay with me a little longer."

Their solitude in the grass was soon disturbed by the flashing lights of the ambulance, and then the cacophony was back again, and in the chaos he passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks everyone for the reviews. Glad you're liking the story.**

Deacon opened his eyes, staring straight up at the ceiling. He was sober. For the first time in days, and he wasn't so sure he liked it.

"Uncle Deacon! You're up!" Scarlett tweeted in her sing songy voice from the nearby chair.

"Yeah Darlin', I'm awake." He said gruffly through his parched throat.

He loved Scarlett, but he wasn't ready to chat idly like everything was fine. Like his whole world hadn't been turned upside down in the past three days. Scarlett was rambling on a mile a minute about something, but Deacon wasn't paying much attention. He was stretching and contracting his hand, working through the stiffness that had formed while he slept. He was still doing it when Coleman walked in the door.

"Hey man, you're looking a little under the weather."

"Well I'd look better if my sponsor had gotten rid of all the booze in my apartment."

He'd meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but when he saw the look on Coleman's face he could tell his friend hadn't taken it that way.

"Sorry Deacon, I let you down. I'm so used to you being sober, making it through another day, that I forgot the first rule of being a sponsor…never trust an addict."

"Nah, they tell me I'm a sly bastard, so no wonder I put one over on you."

"Oh is that what they tell you?"

They both laughed a little, and it felt good, but it felt wrong. How could he laugh, have his normal rapport with Coleman when Rayna was gone. Tucked in a metal drawer in the morgue. The light that shined so bright in his presence permanently extinguished.

Scarlett must have noticed the look on his face because she was soon back to talking.

"What's wrong Uncle Deacon? Do you want me to get the nurse? Fluff your pillow, foot massage?"

"Foot massage?!"

"This magazine Gunnar has said that they're very therapeutic."

"You need to stop reading Gunnar's girlie magazines Darlin'."

She smiled shyly and shifted in her chair. "Well they've been distracting. All I've done for the last day and a half is sit here and fend off the press."

Deacon was suddenly back to somber. "They been asking about Rayna?" It even hurt to say her name.

At this Scarlett got quiet. She hadn't meant to bring up the press, bring up something that would lead to the inevitable conversation about what really happened the other night.

"Do they know she was driving? Are they saying she was drunk, cause she wasn't?"

With this Coleman interrupted. "Don't worry about what the press thinks. You just need to concentrate on getting better and getting out of here."

He thought what a joke, people concerned about him, his well being when this was all his fault. He felt ashamed that they were even asking about him, but then he remembered his little girl.

"How are the kids taking it? How's Maddie?"

"They're with Rayna, Teddy said he couldn't keep the girls away."

At this Deacon was shocked, "He let them see the body?! A 9 year old and a 13 year old! What is wrong with that guy?"

"The body? Uncle Deacon what are you talking about? Rayna's in the room next door. She's in pretty bad shape but she's breathin and everything."

Deacon couldn't believe his ears, when he felt her pass out in his arms the other night he was sure that was the last time he'd ever hold her. In that moment he had let go of all the anger he'd felt towards her for the past two days and let himself be consumed by his love for her. He wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge that she was alive, and potentially going to be ok. Was he still mad? How could he not be? She kept his child from him for over a decade.

"Oh, thank god. I mean, for the kids' sake."

Coleman smiled, "You don't have to pretend you don't love her, we all know you do. You're not fooling anyone."

Deacon sighed. He just wasn't sure how to act. He was relieved, he had the urge to rush next door and see her, but he knew he wasn't ready to do that either.

"Can you let me know when she's awake? I just want to be updated on how she's doing. "

"Of course, we'll let you know whatever we hear."

Deacon needed some time to sort out his thoughts. The adrenaline of the night of the accident was gone and he was left with a total exhaustion of both body and mind.

"Do you guys mind if I get some rest on my own?"

"Of course not," said Scarlett. "but we'll be right outside in the waiting room if you need us."

When the door shut behind them Deacon stretched out in his bed. He had a bandage on his side, and his left leg was in a cast, but other than that he didn't feel too bad physically. Emotionally was another story. The alcohol had drowned everything out for the last few days. He was pretty sure today was Wednesday. He couldn't believe it was just this past Sunday morning that he had woken up with Rayna in his arms, pulled her close and made love to her for the third time that night. Everything had seemed so perfect. Now it felt like he could file that morning with all the rest of the mornings that ended 14 years ago when he went into rehab. No matter how much he wanted to go back to that Sunday morning, nothing would ever be the same again. He was sure of that. He turned off the light and tried to quiet the demons in his head. Luckily his body was more exhausted than his mind and sleep overtook him.

**A few days later**

Deacon was playing with the remote control trying to get the TV off of anything but the local public access channel when Maddie walked in the door.

"Damn TV remote, no wonder I never watch this thing."

"Hey Deacon, can I come in."

"Of course you can darlin' I'm glad you came."

When he saw her standing there looking so small and fragile Deacon realized the gravity of what he'd done. Drinking again, causing all that destruction. This wasn't just about him and his hurt pride anymore, he had a daughter. One who was standing in front of him with wide eyes filled with concern. Yeah she had Teddy, but both her biological parents were in the hospital, could have died, and despite not having raised her, she was part of his life, and always would be. No person deserves a drunk for a father, and damned if he was going to let _his_ kid have a drunk for a father. That was the moment he knew he was back on the wagon.

Maddie hovered nervously around the door to the room.

"Come sit down, I don't bite."

As she slowly walked over to the bed he could see the tears welling up in the teenagers eyes.

"I'm so sorry Deacon, this is all my fault."

"What? No. Don't say that. This is in no way your fault."

"But if I hadn't of told you, you guys wouldn't have been fighting, and you would have never…"

Deacon cut her off. "Nonsense. What happened to your mamma and I is in no way your fault. It has everything to do with my inability to handle things the way I should be handling them.

As you grow up you'll see that life is always going to throw you curveballs, and the way that you handle those curveballs determines what kind of person you are. I didn't handle this curveball so well, in fact, you handled it much better than I did. I guess you get that from your mamma. She's always been the level headed one."

A small smile curled up at the edges of Maddie's lips.

"Now, I know that you have Teddy and he's your daddy, but I've loved you since the day you were born, and that's never going to change."

"I don't even know what to call you? Should I still call you Uncle Deacon?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

Maddie looked like she was thinking long and hard. "I think I'll still call you Deacon for now."

Deacon laughed, "That'll be fine with me."

Deacon wasn't sure he should ask the next question, but his curiosity got the best of his pride. "How's your mamma doing?"

"You haven't seen her? She's ok. Not walking so well, but the doctor said with physical therapy she should be able to walk without crutches someday.

'Someday,' that word hit him like a ton of bricks. She wasn't going to be able to walk, not for a while, maybe never again without crutches. He might never see her perform again in those tall high heels, strutting her stuff around the stage, high kicking during Wrong Song. He felt sick to his stomach, but he pulled it together for Maddie's sake.

"That's great news."

"Aren't you going to visit her? She's just in the next room."

"Yeah, of course. As soon as I get out of this bed."

Deacon wasn't sure he meant it, but he said it anyway.

"I've got to go to school, but I just wanted to stop by before I left."

"I'm real glad you did. They're letting me out of here in a couple of days. Why don't you come over on the weekend if it's alright with Teddy and I can teach you that guitar lick you were asking about last week."

At this Maddie got really excited. "Really? That would be great!" She placed a small kiss on his cheek, then bounded out of the room and down the hall. Despite the circumstances Deacon felt better than he had in days.

Deacon picked up the remote again and continued to fiddle with the box, but he knew it was only a distraction from the decision he had to make. He had known all week that Rayna was just on the other side of the wall, so close that sometimes at night he imagined he could hear her breathing through the vent. He wanted to go to her, stroke her hair, hold her hand, tell her everything was going to be alright, but every time he made the decision to hoist himself out of the bed on his good leg his pride got in the way and he stayed put.

**Later that day**

He drifted back to sleep, only waking up when he heard the banging of metal crutches trying to make their way through his hospital doorway. He looked up and there she was. No make up, glasses on, her usual vibrant red hair was stringy around her face, and he still thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Damn, why did she have this hold over him. Maybe she was his strongest addiction after all.

Rayna moved in a little further towards his bed, "I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come and see me so I thought I'd take matters into my own hands."

Deacon resisted the desire to smile at her. Instead he concentrated on the part of him that felt tired and apathetic, which seemed to be a huge part since the accident. "Well, that's the way you've always done things, so why should now be any different."

Rayna hobbled over and sat down next to him on the bed. "Are you ever going to forgive me?"

The look in her eye was sad and pleading. It would have been a lie if he said it had no affect on him, but he wasn't ready to let bygones be bygones quite yet.

"For the accident? It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have been drinking."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

He did know it, but he was avoiding the topic as long as he could.

"I don't know Ray, I'm just not sure."

Rayna got quiet and shook her head acknowledging that she understood he needed time, but then she spoke anyway, trying to fight back a stray tear that escaped her right eye.

"I don't think I could survive if I lost you."

"Well Ray, I didn't think I would survive when I lost you 14 years ago, but I'm still sitting here."

"You never lost me! We were never…we both know you never lost me. "

Deacon knew what she meant because he was the one who'd been chasing after her for 14 years. He may not have been holding her in his arms every night, but he always knew she was still his. It's what kept him tied to her for the last 14 years, playing in her band, why he could never leave Nashville. It's why he always met up with her on the bridge or in the park the second she called and said she needed him.

Rayna tentatively reached out and grabbed his hand. The contact sent a jolt of electricity running through his body. "I love you Babe, I love you so much."

There was no reason to lie, they knew each other too well for that. Or at least he used to think they did.

"I love you too Ray, I'm just not sure what to do with that right now."

Deacon pulled his hand away from hers and rubbed the scruff on his face with it.

"I'm just going to need some time."

"I'm fine with giving you time. I just don't want it to be the rest of our lives. I feel like we've already wasted so much of it."

"Who's fault is that Ray? I'm not the one that kept us apart all these years. " He started to talk again, but he could feel himself getting more upset than he wanted to show, so he stopped himself. They sat in silence for a moment, and then finally Deacon spoke.

"Maddie came to see me."

"Oh?"

"She was concerned about me. I'm going to have to get used to that."

"She's not the only one you know."

"I know," he said solemnly then sat for a while. "I thought I might try out the role of father for a change. I invited her over for some guitar lessons this weekend. Do you think Teddy will protest?"

"I'll talk with Teddy, don't worry about it. Plus he knows that he can't stop Maddie from doing something when she sets her mind to it. She's stubborn as a mule."

"She gets that from you."

"Me? She gets that from you. I don't think I've ever met anyone as stubborn as you."

"Well that girl has no hope with two parents as stubborn as us."

It was a nice moment and they both knew it. They smiled at each other sweetly and it felt good, but Deacon wasn't ready for that yet. He still had so much anger, so much regret, and he had to work through that on his own.

"The doc says I can leave tomorrow, what about you?"

"Probably next week when I'm not tripping over my feet every third step."

Where you staying when you get out of here?"

"With Tandy. Daddy tried to convince me to stay with him, but somehow I don't see him in the role of nursemaid."

Another laugh, another smile…just like old times.

"Well, maybe you, me, and Maddie can have dinner together when you're felling up to it.

"I'd really like that. Well, I'll hobble on out of here and let you get some rest." As Rayna turned to leave Deacon called out after her.

"Hey."

Deacon could see the look of hopefulness on her face, as if this "Hey" meant the same thing that it meant the night they made love for the first time in years.

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself."

She looked crestfallen and he hated to see her like that, but he just couldn't give her more than that right now.

"You too."

With that she stumbled out the door on the crutches. Deacon could hear her as she struggled to make her way into the room next door. He thought he could hear the faint sound of weeping coming through the vent. It broke his heart, but then again it was already broken, so he wasn't sure he knew the difference.


	3. Chapter 3

**I thought I'd do a chapter from Rayna's perspective. I know it's a little sad, but hey it's TV, the promise of future happiness is why you keep watching (or reading in this case).**

Rayna lay in her bed trying not to let the tears trickle down once again. She hated crying, always did. It made her feel weak, and there was nothing she detested more than feeling weak. Her father had always tried to cast her in that role, and hell, even sometimes Tandy did as well. Rayna was the weaker one, the one who needed to be taken care of and protected. But despite her best efforts the tears still came.

She was alone in a hospital bed with two metal walkers by her bedside, black and blue bruises covering such a high percentage of her body that she wasn't sure what her real skin color was anymore. The man she loved was just inches away from her on the other side of the wall, but she'd never felt more far away from him in her life. Even when he was in rehab all those years ago, when she couldn't speak to him for weeks on end, when she wasn't sure he'd ever be the gentle, sensitive, and sober man she'd fell in love with again, she had always known that they loved each other, and no one could take that away from them. No matter what else was going on around them they could rely on each other, they could escape to their own private bubble where everything was okay.

Since Deacon had found out about Maddie everything had changed. The lost look of a man in love had disappeared and been replaced with first a drunken sneer, and most recently, a deep sadness that she knew could only be blamed on her. She hadn't lied when she'd told him she loved him more than anything. That was true, and the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him, but more important than not hurting him was not hurting their daughter.

She saw how growing up with a drunk as a parent affected Juliette, and she was sure she'd made the right decision all those years ago, but it didn't make her feel any less guilty now. Deacon was right, he'd been sober for 13 years, she'd had ample time to tell him about Maddie. What _had_ she been waiting for? At first she told herself she had to be sure, but how long does someone have to be sober before you're sure they're not going back? One year? Two? In Deacon's case it was thirteen years before the utter destruction in his soul emerged once again.

She knew she had the right to say I told you so, but she wouldn't do that to him. Teddy will though, and she was sure that even if they make it through this, Teddy will try his hardest to keep Deacon away from the girls, from them leading a normal life. "I should have told him years ago," she thought to herself. But back then she was entrenched in her marriage to Teddy, trying to make that work, and keep the promises she'd made to him, one being that he would always be Maddie's father.

Early on, after Deacon had been sober a while, and had continued to play in Rayna's band she could tell that Teddy wasn't comfortable with it.

"He's my band leader," she'd told him. "That's just the way it's always been, and it's always going to be. You need to be ok with that."

Teddy had agreed, but she knew he wasn't comfortable. And if Rayna were really being honest with herself Teddy had a right to be uncomfortable. Yes she'd felt responsible for Deacon, and didn't want to kick him out in the cold just as he fought to get sober, but she also couldn't bare the thought of living without him. She needed him. For so long she'd lived with him as a drunken presence in her life, longing for the early days when he was relatively sober and reliable. Now that he'd become that person again she couldn't deny herself the reward of having him near her. Being able to run to him whenever she needed that reassuring presence in her life.

When she touched his hand in his room earlier she could feel that he still needed her too, but he was fighting it. Deacon didn't like to let himself be happy. He liked to hold on to his anger, he'd always been like that. When they were young he just couldn't let something go, he'd hold onto it forever. It caused a lot of drunken bar fights that she thought were ridiculous. At first she'd try to stop him, then she just learned to turn the other cheek until he started ending up in jail. But that was a long time ago, and he'd been better about it as he got sober and grew older. She just hoped that he'd grown enough that he'd be able to let go of his anger towards her.

They could have everything he ever wanted if he would just let go of the anger. She and him, together, raising Maddie. Yes he'd missed out on the first 13 years, but what was 13 years in someone's lifetime. They had the rest of their lives to be her parents. Plus, she'd always made sure that Deacon was in Maddie's life, she'd always loved him.

Before he'd found out about Maddie she'd started to let herself fantasize about the two of them moving in together, getting married, sharing custody of the girls with Teddy. Now that seemed so far away, maybe impossible. Why couldn't she have told him earlier, why hadn't she kept that box in her closet locked, hell, why hadn't she burned the paternity test. Her aching right leg would have thanked her for that.

So she laid back in her bed, hugged her standard issue hospital pillow and let the tears flow freely down her face. She cried for the pain in her hip, she cried for her daughter's turbulent future, she cried for the sadness that consumed the man next door, and most of all she cried for them, for a true love that seemed so close, but kept missing its chance at happiness.


	4. Chapter 4

Deacon lay awake in his bed. He was being released in the morning, but for now he was just taking in the silence of the hospital ward. It's always so busy with people rushing around all over the place during the day, but the deafening silence of the nighttime left time for him to think. Not that he wanted that time. No matter how hard he tried his thoughts inevitably turned to her. Sometimes it was anger, sometimes hurt, and sometimes longing so strong that he thought he'd pass out if he didn't hold her in his arms right at that moment.

He was somewhere between the first and the last when he heard the distinctive sound of her crutches in the hallway. He looked at the clock. 1:23am. He was concentrating on the click clack of the metal on the tile floor when she appeared in his doorway, backlit so her strawberry blond hair glowed as if she was an angel. She didn't say anything, and he was kind of glad for this. He wasn't sure what he'd say to her now if he was forced to speak. Instead he watched her as she made her way over to his bedside, put the crutches against the chair and very slowly climbed into bed with him.

Deacon didn't try to stop her. Maybe if he'd let himself think for a second he would have, but the quiet and small glow of light peaking in the door and the scent of her hair put him in a trance he was unable to break. She reached around his body holding him, and tucked her head under his chin. His arms wrapped around her gently in an automatic reaction to the nearness of her body. The contact was almost too much for him. It had been so long, and the last time he'd held her like this they were in a field next to his totaled SUV and she was dying in his arms. The feeling of her breath on his neck was both reassuring and titillating. He wrapped his arms around her tighter and let one hand slide down her back and under her gown until it rested on her bottom. Rayna slid one of her legs on top of his pulling his lower body closer to hers. "I guess her legs aren't too badly hurt," he thought as he felt the power of her muscles drag him into her body.

He tilted her head up and stared into her eyes for a moment. They were filled with sadness, but most of all longing, and he knew if he could see his own eyes they would have matched hers. He hesitated a moment moving his lips just a millimeter away from hers before hungrily grabbing her mouth with his, and then he was lost in her. Their tongues touched and electricity shot through his body. He rolled her onto her back being careful to avoid crushing her legs. He had never been so glad that both of them were wearing nothing but hospital gowns. He lifted hers up and entered her in one quick move. He stopped for a minute just to take in the feeling of being inside her again like he did when they'd made love for the first time in over a decade. She reached down sliding her hands over his ass and pulled him deeper into her. Deacon moaned and started to move as he deepened their kisses. Hands moved in a seductive fury over each other's bodies as each one ached to pull the other one closer. She may be his addiction, but she was the best one he had. As he made his way to her neck he heard her whisper "Oh babe, I've missed you so much," and it was enough to send him over the edge and take her with him.

After it was over he lay there inside of her for a moment, not yet ready to break the contact. She stroked his hair, and the feeling of relief at being home in her arms was so strong that he started to cry silently. He could feel her doing the same as salty tears dripped off of the strands of his hair.

He must have fallen asleep like that because when he lifted his head up the clock said 4:30. He rolled over and took Rayna's sleeping body with him, pulling her into the crook of his arm. She made a soft little moan and buried her head in his chest. Then he let his head fall to the pillow again as sleep once again overtook him.

When the light from the window hit his eyes for the first time at 7:00 he reached for her but she was gone. The room once again seemed so silent and stark that part of him wasn't 100% sure it hadn't been a dream. Just as he found a stray red hair on his pillow the doctor came in.

"So, time for you to get out of here."

"It's about time doc."

"Just a little paperwork to fill out and you're good to go. You can get dressed though."

Deacon got up and put on the button down that Scarlett had brought him and an old pair of faded jeans. He pulled on his boots and looked in the mirror staring at the scruff that surrounded a prominent row of stitches on his right cheek, lightly touching it before heading out of the room. He walked by Rayna's room to look in but she wasn't there.

"Miss Jaymes is in physical therapy this morning," the doctor said.

"Oh, tell her I said…well tell her…"

Deacon wasn't sure what to say after last night. Should he say he loved her, he didn't want to do that through the doctor. A simple I'll call you didn't seem right either.

"Tell her I'll be seeing her. "

With that he picked up his overnight bag, and walked back into the light of a sunny Nashville summer morning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Callie Khouri's comment that Deacon might not see himself as dad material got me thinking.**

Deacon sat on his front porch strumming his guitar. He'd been up at the cabin for 2 weeks now. He wasn't exactly hiding out, but rather spending some time getting reacquainted with his sober self without the prying eyes of the paparazzi looking on.

While in the hospital he'd let the anger continue to consume him, but up here in the woods, in his element, much of the anger had slipped away.

The anger may have dissipated, but it was quickly becoming replaced by fear. He'd been living his life a certain way for the past 14 years. He'd been a bachelor, no one to answer to, no one who relied on him for anything, no one to disappoint but himself. That's how he managed to stay sober all these years. When he started thinking about being a father to Maddie he thought about all the ways he could disappoint her, and that made the urge to drink again ever present. He couldn't go back to Nashville and put her through that. Maybe Teddy was right, maybe he wouldn't have made a good dad, maybe she was better off without him.

And then there was Rayna, he didn't really know where things stood with her. He knew she still loved him, but he could also see the fear in her eyes that he would drink again. As much as he didn't like to admit it to himself, he knew that he'd put her through hell when he was drinking, and that he'd just reawakened her greatest fear. She loved him, but she didn't want to live her life with a drunk.

Maybe he was better off without her too. It was a confusing thought for him considering he'd spent the last decade and a half longing to be with her, but he was scared of the emotions they brought up in each other. He'd been mad before, mad enough to punch a total stranger in the face, but he'd never felt the anger that he'd felt towards Rayna that night, that was something new. All that passion could create the greatest love capable to man, but now he knew it could also create the greatest rage.

He took a sip of iced tea and continued to strum. Yeah, he was better off up here at the cabin for now, better off on his own.

##

Rayna sat at the piano bench trying to come up with lyrics for a new song she'd been playing with. She'd been out of the hospital for over a week now, and Tandy was starting to drive her crazy with all the doting. Frankly she never thought the woman had a motherly bone in her body, but I guess she'd managed to find it hidden under all those buttoned up suits. The girls were still at school so she thought she'd be constructive and write some songs for the remaining spots on her half finished album. Liam had come to see her when she got out of the hospital and they'd agreed to continue recording once she felt up to it. She had just written a particularly heartbreaking lyric when Teddy walked in the door.

"Hey Rayna, how are you feeling?"

She was glad that things seemed to be ok between them since Maddie had found out about Deacon.

"Thanks Teddy, I'm doing ok. My right leg is still a little stiff, but I'm walking pretty well. Though you'd never know it the way my sister's been mothering me."

"Really? Tandy? Are we talking about _your_ sister? The spawn of Lamar?"

"Yeah, well some things never cease to amaze." Rayna smiled and they both laughed a little.

"Are the girls here? I came to pick them up for the week."

"Maddie got caught on an after school project and Daphne just had to see her friend Emma's new puppy. They should both be home within an hour or so though. I can have Tandy drop them off later this afternoon."

"Sure that's fine."

Teddy turned to leave, but Rayna stopped him with her next sentence.

"You should know that Maddie has been asking to go and see Deacon at the cabin."

At that he spun around and his relaxed mood quickly disappeared. When Rayna saw him tense up she partially regretted mentioning it, but they were parents, and she felt that after her recent experience, honesty was always going to be the best policy with everyone moving forward in her life.

"How did she even know he was there?"

"I wasn't going to lie to her Teddy. She asked me where he went and I told her he was up at the cabin, and that I might go up and see how he's doing."

You're not seriously considering continuing to date him are you?

"He's my boyfriend Teddy. We're not over with just because we're having a fight."

At this remark whatever cool Teddy was maintaining went out the window.

"How can you be serious? Can't you see that he reacted in _exactly_ the way you've been afraid of all these years? The moment something upsetting came his way he fell right off the wagon, just like my dad used to. Isn't that why you married me in the first place, because you knew you couldn't trust him to stay sober around Maddie? I may not have been the love of your life, but I'm the one you could trust with our daughters. How do you know it's not going to be our daughters in the car with him next time he drinks?"

"I was the one driving Teddy. I'm not taking all the blame off of him, yes, you're right, he did act in exactly the way I was afraid of, and I'm not sorry for choosing you as Maddie's dad all those years ago, but he is Maddie's real dad, and she knows it. You can't keep her away from him. "

"Well maybe not Maddie, but I can definitely keep Daphne away from him."

"That's ridiculous Teddy. He just found out some shocking news. He knows he fucked up. And if he and I manage to work through our issues he's going to be around the girls. Maybe not right away, but if we were to move in together, get married someday…"

Rayna's voice trailed off as she could quickly see that what she was saying wasn't helping the situation.

Teddy was in a state of disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Damn Rayna, that restraining order didn't stick last time, but it sure as hell will this time. I don't want to do this, but if you continue to see him, I'll have no choice but to sue for full custody. "

"What is wrong with you? You would honestly try to take those girls away from me, from their own mother?!"

"It's for their own protection, because clearly you aren't willing to do it Rayna. You're so head over heals in love with that loser that you'd put your daughters in harms way. Frankly I've never understood what you see in that man, but if you choose to be with him I'll have no other choice."

With that Teddy turned around and left leaving Rayna standing in the middle of her living room in a state of shock. She knew it would be hard for her and Deacon to fix things between the two of them, but she didn't think about the part that Teddy played in the equation. She loved Deacon, but was she really willing to go through the battle it was going to take to be with him, was she really willing to put her girls through that? If she and Deacon were going to make it as a couple it was going to get ugly with Teddy and the divorce. She'd been willing to go through it before Maddie's paternity was revealed, but since the accident and all the fighting with Deacon she just wasn't sure she had the strength anymore.

She sat back down at the piano. She reached out with her right hand to play a couple of cords, but exhaustion from everything that had happened in the last few weeks overtook her and once again she started to cry.


	6. Chapter 6

Tandy walked in and found Rayna sitting in her kitchen drinking a glass of ginger ale.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm ok, just feeling a little under the weather, I think all this stress and being in the hospital left me rundown. I have a bit of a virus."

"Well why are you up, you should be in bed Rayna!"

"Calm down Tandy, I'm fine. I'm actually going to go up and see Deacon today at the cabin."

"Are you sure you want to do that? He went up there on his own for a reason."

"I know, but if we're ever going to try to fix things we can't stay apart forever. And frankly, I have to know if he even wants to fix things. Plus I'm tired of sitting in this house, I need some fresh air."

"Do you want me to drive you?"

"No, I think this is something I have to do alone."

##

A few hours later Rayna was driving through the verdant countryside near Watts Bar Lake. Deacon's family had owned the land here for a few generations. The cabin had started out as a one-room shack back in the late 1800s, but by now it had expanded to a full house with running water and a wrap around deck that overlooked the lake below.

It had been years since she'd been up here, but she still knew the way as if it was just yesterday. She and Deacon had spent a lot of wonderful weeks hidden away at the cabin, barely getting out of bed except maybe to write some songs, though most of those were written from bed as well if she was going to be honest with herself.

As she pulled through the woods into the dirt driveway she saw him sitting on the porch looking out at the lake. She got out of her car and walked around so she was standing just off the steps.

Deacon was playing around with his Martin when he heard the hum of her SUV. He was happy to see her, but a little nervous at what they were going to say to each other.

She looked beautiful as ever, tight blue jeans, sleeveless blue silk blouse that brought out the red in her hair and the blue in her eyes. All she was missing was her stilettos, but considering she wasn't walking so well last time he'd seen her he thought the flat jeweled sandals looked just fine.

"Miss Rayna Jaymes, out of the hospital and looking just as fabulous as always."

She walked up to the porch and gave him a smile.

"I thought I'd come up and see how you're doing?"

"I'm ok. Got some new songs that I'm feeling pretty good about. Drinking my iced-tea." Deacon raised the glass and swirled the brown liquid around a little.

"You still have that old couch out here on the porch? You are a red neck at heart Deacon Clayborne."

"Well, why fix what's not broken?" Deacon joked, then his voice trailed off a little "cause there's plenty that is broken in my life right now."

She couldn't deny that the comment stung. "I know, and I know I'm partially to blame for that."

Deacon thought for a moment before he spoke, "When everything else has gone to hell I've always had you, always trusted you, and now I'm not so sure I can trust you anymore. I hate that."

"I know, I feel the same way and it's tearing me apart."

Rayna saw the pain in his eyes and she just wanted to hold him. She wasn't sure she should, but she walked up on the porch took the guitar out of his hands and set it down on the table. Then she climbed on the couch and lay down in his arms so they were stretched out along the paisley fabric.

Deacon had been so solitary for the last couple of weeks that the touch of her skin was a shock to his system, but a welcome one. He wrapped her tightly in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. Whatever problems they were having being like this together always brought peace to each of them, however temporary.

They lay like that in silence for a while. Finally Rayna spoke. "Maddie wanted to come up too, but it's Teddy's week and I didn't want to rock the boat too much."

Deacon wasn't sure if that made him happy or more nervous. What if Maddie had come, what would he have said to her, would she be disappointed in him that he was hiding up here rather than trying to be her dad?

"That's nice, tell her I say we'll have a proper jam session when I'm back in town."

"When are you coming back to town?" Rayna sat up and stretched her legs out across the table.

"I don't know Ray, things are pretty simple for me up here right now, and I think that's what I need."

"You can't hideaway forever."

"I'm not hiding, I'm just contemplating."

"I wish I could hide from this divorce stuff with Teddy."

"Is he being a pain since the accident?"

"He doesn't want me or the girls around you."

Deacon thought about that for a second and looked out at the water.

"Yeah, I could see that after I took a swing at him."

"What!? When did you do that?"

Deacon shuffled a little in his seat, he didn't like admitting to Rayna that he'd screwed up.

"When I was drinking, I found him on the lawn at city hall and took a swing. We kind of got into it a bit."

"Oh Deacon, no wonder why he was so sure you were drinking again. I was hoping to hide that from him. If we want to stay together this is not going to be easy. You made this whole situation a lot worse."

"I know that Ray, you don't need to remind me."

"I'm sorry, I'm just stressed about losing the girls."

Deacon couldn't stand to see the pain in her eyes. No matter what their problems he knew what a great mother she was, and he was sorry that he caused her to have any issues with Teddy and the custody hearing.

"I know you are, and you're not going to lose them, if we can't be together right now, we can't be together. I don't want to make things harder for you."

She reached out and grabbed his hand. He could see the tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I think it might just be best if we cool things down right now, at least until Teddy calms down and the divorce is final."

"Yeah, ok."

They sat staring out at the water a while longer, still holding hands. Then Rayna broke the silence.

"The tour is starting up again in about a week."

"You ok to be doing all that moving around stage?"

"Well I might have to tone it down a bit, but I'll be fine. Especially with my lead guitarist backing me up."

"Oh Ray, I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"You're not quitting on me are you? You don't want to get a reputation that you're always walking out on jobs after what happened with Juliette." She smiled at him in her best seductive smile.

Deacon smiled back. "Yeah? I'm glad you're looking out for me."

Suddenly Rayna got serious. "I need you Deacon, I need the normalcy of having you there, backing me up, especially since the injury."

Deacon thought about it for a second. He wasn't sure that pretending like everything was ok on tour was the best thing to do, but he could never say no to her.

"OK, I'm in. "

"Great! I'll tell Bucky."

"I'll come home on Wednesday. I just need another couple of days up here on my own."

"Alright, lets plan for dinner on Friday with the girls, ok?"

"I thought Teddy had his panties in a wad over that?"

"Yeah, well, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, and it's my last night with the girls for a few weeks."

Rayna kissed him softly and slowly extracted her hand from his.

"See you when you're back in town."

"See ya."

##

By the time Friday came around Rayna was racing around the house trying to get everything in order before stepping on the plane the next day. She still felt under the weather, but was putting on a brave face for the girls, she didn't want them to worry about her. She had forgone her usual gourmet meal for take-out since there was still so much to do. When the doorbell rang she thought it was the pizza guy forgetting something, but when she opened the door it was Deacon.

"Hey, I'm glad you decided to come."

"Well, I couldn't let Maddie down."

At that he saw the girl poke her head around the corner.

"Hey Deacon."

"Hey Darlin, how are you doing?"

"Finishing up the last week of school so pretty good. I just found out my 8th grade home room teacher and I'm with a bunch of friends."

"That's great."

"Alright everyone," Rayna said. "Let's wash up for dinner."

The girls ran and washed their hands and everyone re-gathered around the kitchen table. It felt so normal joking around with the girls, shoving slices of pepperoni in their mouths that for just a second Rayna and Deacon were able to let all the drama of the past month slip away. They looked at each other sharing a smile.

After dinner Rayna put Daphne to bed while Maddie and Deacon played some songs in the living room. He was showing her how to stretch her fingers for a complicated chord when she looked up at him.

"I'm glad you're my dad Deacon."

"Yeah? Well I'm glad you're my daughter."

They smiled at each other and went back to playing their respective guitars. For the first time in over a month Deacon felt like maybe things could work out, at least for him and Maddie. Rayna came out of Daphne's bedroom.

"Alright people, time to say goodnight."

"Come on mom, Deacon was just going to walk me through a Johnny Cash song!"

"Next time. He and I have to get ready for our tour."

"OK, next time. You promise?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't leave you hanging when it comes to Johnny Cash."

He gave her a hug and Rayna walked him to the door.

"That was nice, thanks for having me over."

"I'm glad you decided to come. It means a lot to Maddie."

"It's weird having someone count on me…but nice."

"I count on you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Deacon wasn't sure what to do, he wanted to kiss her, but wasn't sure it was the right move at that moment. He leaned in a little awkwardly, then decided planting a soft kiss on her forehead was the way to go.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

Rayna shut the door, leaned against it, and let out a sigh. Whatever this was going to be, it wasn't going to be easy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay, and I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but hope you like it.**

##

This last leg of the tour started out in Austin. Rayna had always loved that city, it felt similar to Nashville with it's music scene and cowboy boots around every corner. As she settled into her hotel room she kicked her shoes off and relaxed on the couch. She just couldn't kick the flu bug she'd picked up and she felt like she was in need of a serious nap.

The flight had been quick, she was hoping that Deacon was going to come with her on the private plane, but he'd decided to fly commercial with the rest of the crew. When she heard a knock on the door she was hoping it was him, but when she opened it, it was Bucky's small frame that walked across the threshold.

"Are you sure you're ready for tonight Rayna? You just don't seem like you're 100% back to yourself."

"I know Bucky, I'm ok, I'm just a little peaked from this flu, but I'll be alright. Remember back in 2008 when I did that whole concert while I had bronchitis?"

"How could I forget, you were on so much cough medicine that I thought you were going to fall right off of your high heels and into the audience."

"But I didn't! I'll be fine, no worries."

Rayna walked back over to the couch and massaged her right foot, if she was going to admit it to herself, it hadn't healed completely since the accident and the high heels were a bit of a stretch.

"OK," Bucky interrupted, "well is Deacon prepped on the new material? The stuff you wrote after he joined Juliette's band."

"Yeah, I gave it to him up at the cabin so he could look it over, plus you know Deacon, he could pick up anything and he's heard my new show a bunch of times."

"Alright, well, why don't you get some rest. Sound check is at 5:00."

Rayna stretched back out on the couch and let sleep overtake her once again.

##

Groggily Rayna opened her eyes and looked at the clock 4:45. "Oh crap!" she thought, I'm late.

She'd wanted to talk to Deacon before they were out in front of a live audience, but now she realized she wouldn't have the chance. She threw on some clothes, ran a brush through her almost perfect hair, and sprinted across the street to the stadium.

When she arrived he was already there, guitar slung low around his hips, hair pushed back. God he was so sexy. No matter how difficult things were between them the sex part was never an issue. She wanted him, and she wanted him badly.

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence Miss Jaymes," Deacon joked.

Rayna gave him a little smile. "I'm not that late."

She took the microphone and began to sing. Sound check flew by, and before she knew it she was being pushed into a tight dress, hair teased out and curled, make up being slapped on by her regular crew, and she was out on stage again, but this time for a live audience. She was glad that Deacon was there backing her up, because if she had to admit it to herself, she didn't feel quite right. Maybe it was too soon to have restarted the tour, maybe the accident took more out of her than she'd thought. Right before Wrong Song she stopped to drink some water and felt a little faint. Deacon saw her beginning to fade and grabbed her elbow.

"You alright Darlin'?"

"Yeah, just tired, I'd forgotten how exhausting walking in these high heels all night can be."

"Are you sure? Do you want to cut the set short?"

"Before Wrong Song? Hell no!"

Rayna flashed him her brightest smile and went back on stage, but he was still a little worried about her. He knew how hard it was for himself to be up there again. Not just physically, but mentally too, and he wondered if Rayna was as shaken up as he was.

After the show wrapped he wanted to go up to her, take care of her, but he knew if he did that it would lead to something that they agreed they wouldn't do, also, he just wasn't ready for that yet. Instead he waved goodbye to the band and turned in early, strumming his guitar a bit as he fell asleep.

##

Rayna spotted Deacon's quick exit from the arena and felt a little disappointed. Yeah they said they were going to take a break from each other, but did that mean they couldn't even talk? They weren't fighting, but they weren't making love either. This weird limbo was something they had done for years when she was with Teddy, but now it just felt wrong. She went upstairs and went to bed. She had to find time to talk with him tomorrow.

##

Rayna woke up the next morning and ran to the bathroom. She was going to be sick again. "Damn this virus," she thought. As she sat on the bathroom floor she picked up her phone and browsed through the calendar counting how many dates she had before a break. All of a sudden she panicked. Rayna pulled herself together and went downstairs to the drugstore across the street, then she went back to her hotel room. As she waited for the little stick she already knew what it was going to tell her.

"Plus sign, damn. I'm pregnant."


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews. Glad everyone is liking this story.**

##

Deacon lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't quite sure that it was a good idea to come on this tour. He enjoyed being back on stage, but being out there with Rayna, pretending that everything was like it used to be gnawed at him in a way that made him think about that whiskey bottle he still had hidden in the back of the pantry in his house.

Spending the occasional evening with Rayna and Maddie was one thing, living with her on stage every night for weeks was another. He found himself worrying about her last night, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that either. He still needed to worry about himself, about staying sober, he just wasn't so sure this was the right move for him.

All of a sudden he heard a knock on the door. He looked over at the clock, 8:45 am. Then he muttered to himself as he got out of bed. "No one I know would knock at this hour."

As he opened the door he said it out loud. "No one I know would knock at this hour."

There she was, standing at his door at what time she knew was an ungodly hour for a musician.

"I'm so sorry Deacon, I know it's early."

"It's ok. What's going on Ray? "

He knew he had avoided her last night, but he thought that this morning's early hour house call must be important or else she would have waited until the mid-day sun was shining through his blinds.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course, sorry." Deacon moved away from the door and let Rayna enter. She breezed passed him and sat on the bed. He noticed that she had a weird energy about her this morning. She was playing with the cuff of her shirt. It was a nervous tick she did that he hadn't seen in a while.

"Is everything alright? Were you happy with the show last night?"

"Oh yeah, the show, no it was fine, great." More playing with her cuff. "I just, I don't know if you noticed I was feeling a little sick out there last night?"

"Yeah, I noticed Ray." At this point Deacon wasn't sure where she was going with this? Had she decided to cancel the rest of the tour already? Was she telling him first as a courtesy?

"Hey, if you're not up to touring yet I totally understand. We went through a lot in that accident. Putting on an arena show every night takes a lot of energy, maybe you just started back a little too soon?"

Rayna smiled nervously, "It's not that. I mean, yeah, it was a little exhausting, but I don't think the accident was the problem."

Now Deacon was really confused. He wasn't quite sure what to say but he could see that she needed some support, and after almost 27 years together his natural reaction was to give it no matter what else was going on with them. He sat down on the bed next to her and took her hands in his stopping her from playing with her cuff.

Then he looked deeply into her eyes. "Whatever it is, it'll be ok."

Rayna breathed deeply and looked back at him. "I'm pregnant Deacon."

"Pregnant?" was about all Deacon could get out.

"Yeah, about a month and a half."

"You mean you're having a baby?"

"That's usually what pregnant means."

"_You_ and _I_ are having a baby?"

"Uh huh, how do you feel about that?"

Deacon let out the breath that he'd been holding for the last 30 seconds. Then he stood up and started pacing around the room.

"Wow, that's certainly not what I was expecting. Not that I'm upset about it, I'm just a little shocked."

"I was too."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Are you kidding? I wasn't going to make that mistake twice. I just found out myself."

At this Deacon smiled. "Thanks Ray, I'm glad we're dealing with this child differently than the last."

"I'm going to have to tell Bucky though, and Teddy, and eventually the girls."

Deacon sat down on the bed in a state of total shock.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I'm being weird, but six months ago I was a single guy who thought I'd probably never have kids. Now all of a sudden I have a 14 year old and one on the way. It's a lot to sink in."

"I know it is, but it's exciting right?" Rayna asked more to convince herself than him.

"Yeah, I mean, for years I looked at you and Teddy and the girls, and I have to admit I was jealous. I always thought that should be my family, that should be me, and all of a sudden we are a family, you and me, and Maddie, and the new baby."

"And Daphne."

"Yes, of course, her too. I'm just trying to wrap my head around all this. I never thought I was going to have a family."

Rayna smiled, "I'm happy to hear you call us your family, because we are your family, and we always will be."

"I know Rayna, no matter what happens with you and me, you know, romantically speaking, you girls will always be my family."

Rayna's heart sank a little, he still wasn't sure about them, about whether or not he wanted to try to make things work with them. Deacon could read that on her face and he walked over to her and placed his hands on her face.

"Hey, I just need a little time to let everything sink in, but I am happy about this." He kissed her softly on the lips then rested his forehead against hers. "Wow, a new baby."

Rayna hated to pull away, but she knew she had a million things to do. "I'm going to try to pull myself together, and rest up a bit before tonight's show. I guess I should tell Bucky."

"Actually Ray, could we keep this our little secret for the time being? At least until the end of the third month. Isn't that what parents usually do?"

"Yeah," Rayna smiled at him. "I'll just keep telling Bucky I can't shake this flu, and hopefully the morning sickness will get better. With Daphne it went away by the end of the second month.

"Let me pull myself together, shower, etc. and then I'll come up and massage your feet or something."

Rayna laughed, "You don't really need to do that until the last trimester, but I'll take it."

Rayna walked out of the room and Deacon sat back down on his bed. "A new baby, damn, I guess I really am a dad.


	9. Chapter 9

**I know neither Deacon nor Rayna are in this chapter, but I thought it fit in here. Just a shot snippet from back home.**

##

Maddie got home from school and looked around the house to make sure no one else was around, then she snuck up to her room, grabbed her guitar and snuck out the back. She pulled out her phone and texted Teddy.

"Going to Zoe's for homework/dinner be home at 9:00?"

Teddy texted back a few minutes later.

"OK, but no later than 9:00."

Maddie knew that Teddy had been more lenient with her since the accident and she was more than willing to take advantage of that.

She waited at the bus stop that took her out of Belle Meade and arrived about 30 minutes later in Waverly. She got off the bus and headed across the street to a club called the Douglas Corner Café. She'd called at 1:00 to get on the list for the open mic night, and they said she was 2nd so she'd be playing around 8:15. That would give her enough time to play a couple of songs and get home before Teddy suspected anything.

When Maddie walked in the door she found the manager. "Aren't you a bit young to be in here?"

She lied, "I'm 16."

"16, huh?"

"Yeah, just turned 16 a couple of weeks ago. I'm here to play the open mic night. I talked to you on the phone. My name is Madeline."

"Right, Madeline, 8:15. Madeline what?"

Maddie thought for a second. She didn't really want to use her real last name, too many associations with the mayor. She thought about using her mom's maiden name like Rayna did, but everyone knew the Wyatt's in Nashville, Jaymes was out too. She wanted to make it on her own, not just as Rayna Jaymes' daughter.

"Claybourne. Madeline Claybourne."

"Well, nice to meet you 16 year old Madeline Claybourne, you're on second."

##

Maddie nervously sat through the first set. She had never sung on stage without Daphne, and without the support of her mom in the audience. She wasn't sure she was ready when they called her name.

"And the next person up is a young singer songwriter. This is her first time playing here. Please give a warm welcome for Madeline Claybourne."

The audience waited patiently as Maddie walked up on stage, pulled out her mother's old guitar and started to play. She started with Ho Hey since she knew it so well. There were definitely people clapping at the end of that one, so she felt confident going into the next one.

"I wrote this song with my dad who's one of my musical inspirations."

Maddie began to play the song that she'd been working on with Deacon before he and Rayna had gone back out on tour. She had finished it by herself and she was really proud of it.

After she was done she smiled at the applause then walked off stage trying to hurry so she wouldn't be late for her curfew. As she did she walked past the manager.

"Not bad 16, why don't you come back and play next week?"

Maddie beamed, "I'll be here!"

Then she ran out the door barely catching the bus back to Belle Meade.

Back in the bar the manager was chatting with one of the other singer/songwriters after Maddie left.

"That girl was young, but pretty good, especially on guitar. What was her name?"

"Madeline Claybourne."

"You don't think she's Deacon's kid do you?"

"Nah, she probably just grabbed his last name as a stage name. When I first started playing I was Roger Hendrix." Both guys laughed at Roger's obvious lack of relation to Jimi Hendrix. "I think I'd know if Deacon Claybourne had a kid."


	10. Chapter 10

**This started out as a short chapter, but kept expanding into a pretty long one. **

##

Deacon rolled over and pressed his body against Rayna's back, then he slid his right hand over her hip and down onto her belly. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent, moaning at the pleasure he was getting from just being near her. They'd been sleeping like this for over a week, ever since she'd told him about the baby. It had been more comforting than sexual, but they both seemed to be in a state of elated bliss.

He'd gone up to her room after the show that first night and brought her pistachio nuts. He'd remembered from when she was on tour while pregnant with Daphne that she craved them.

She'd been so excited. "You remembered? I was just thinking how great these would be right now."

He'd massaged her shoulders while she cracked the nuts, popping them in her mouth, and then they had both fallen asleep on the couch. When they woke up in the middle of the night he'd mumbled something about going back to his room, but instead she'd stood up, took his hand, and led him into the bedroom. "Let's sleep in here," she'd said. "It'll be more comfortable than the couch."

Since then, that had been the ritual, through the rest of Austin, Dallas, Houston, and now in Phoenix. Deacon loved sleeping with her like this, but if he was going to admit it to himself, he'd woken up more than a few mornings with an aching he just couldn't shake. This morning was one of those.

He continued to rest his hand on her stomach but moved his mouth to her neck and started planting tender kisses along her exposed flesh. He heard Rayna moan and then she stirred. She reached her hand down and intertwined her fingers with the ones caressing her still rather taught abdomen.

Deacon worked his way around to her throat turning her over to face him, then he lifted his head and looked her in the eyes.

"I know we said we were going to put the breaks on us being romantic until your divorce was finalized, but I've got to say Ray, I want to make love to you so badly. What do you think?"

"Are you kidding? I've been waiting for you to make a move for over a week now!"

Deacon smiled, and Rayna grabbed his face with her hands pulling him into a long and tender kiss. Then she slid his hand that had been on her stomach further down under the waistband of her underwear so it was between her legs.

"I love how wet you get," Deacon purred.

"Only for you Babe," Rayna replied breathlessly, already feeling turned on by the movement of his fingers inside of her. She couldn't believe how quickly he got her to a place where she was losing control. He stopped to pull off both of their underpants, and replaced his fingers with his mouth in the process softly licking and sucking her. That was her undoing. Within seconds she was crying out as the orgasm overtook her. Just as she climaxed Deacon moved up so he was on top of her and quickly entered her feeling the tightness of her muscles contract around him.

"Oh god, Ray," he moaned. "You feel so good."

Rayna pulled him closer moving her hands over every inch of his body. They hadn't made love since that day in the hospital and she was going to savor every minute of this just incase there was another two month break. Her whole body continued to tingle as he moved inside of her bringing her close to another orgasm.

"I'm almost there Deacon."

He swirled himself inside of her then pushed in as deep as he could finding a surge of relief in his own orgasm. They collapsed exhausted on top of each other, and then Deacon pulled Rayna into his arms so she was draped across his body.

"Remind me why we waited so long to do that?" Rayna said.

"We were working through things."

"Oh right, well I think we just worked through a whole bunch of things right there."

They smiled at each other, then Rayna rested her head on his chest. She didn't want to rush things, but she wanted to know where they stood.

"When we get back to Nashville, do you think you'll want to move in with me and the girls?"

"I don't know Ray, that's a big step, and there's a whole lot of complications in our life right now. There's the girls, Teddy, and I've got to admit, I've never lived with more than one person before."

"I know, that person was me."

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out, you moved out."

Rayna ran her hand up and down his chest running her fingers through the hair.

"That's only because of the drinking. You're not going to drink anymore, right?"

"Yeah, of course not. I mean, I know I slipped when I found out about Maddie, but I promise Ray, no more drinking."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Could you really see me living in a house in Belle Meade? That's just not me Ray."

"Well, I've been staying in the house for the sake of the girls, but if you don't feel comfortable there we could talk about moving someplace else. I could give Teddy the house in the divorce settlement, then the girls wouldn't be having to completely move."

"Let me just think about it a bit Ray, this is just all moving so fast."

"OK, no decisions yet. We still have time."

Rayna put her head back on his chest and Deacon pulled her closer into his arms kissing the top of her head. Then they both drifted back into sleep.

##

Two weeks later they were flying back to Nashville in Juliette's plane. The last two weeks had been nothing but encores of songs and more private performances. They were sitting on the couch in the plane working on a new song when Juliette interrupted.

"Looks like you guys are back to your old sappy selves. I thought you were fighting or something."

"We weren't fighting," Rayna replied. "Adults work through their problems rather than running away from them."

"Uh, huh. Is that what you guys were doing in that SUV, working through things?"

Deacon gave her a look of utter disappointment.

"Alright, I'll shut up. I'm just saying."

When they landed Rayna stayed behind on the plane with Deacon so they could have a few moments alone. They'd been living in a bubble the last few weeks, truly living up to Deacon's promise of "You and me, right here, right now." They'd been shutting out anything but their love, and their love for the new baby that was coming. But now that they were back in Nashville, the realities of their lives came rushing back. They were two people with a lot of problems, and a lot of other people to consider.

She grabbed onto his collar rubbing her fingers up and down the fabric.

"I'm going to go pick up the girls, but I'll see you tomorrow at the studio, right?"

"Yeah you will." He smiled at her and gave her a kiss.

"I know things are complicated now that we're home, but I want to try to hold on to what we regained out of the road. No backsliding."

"I know Ray, I've been real happy the last few weeks too, but we both know a baby doesn't solve everything. It's not like we're starting again from scratch 14 years ago. This baby isn't Maddie."

"I know, but I still feel like it's our second chance, and I really want to take it if you do."

"I want to, and no matter what I'll be here for this baby, I just still need to sort some things out for myself."

Rayna got a little misty, "I love you Deacon."

"I love you too Ray." Then he leaned down and gently kissed her one more time before getting off the plane.

##

When Rayna arrived at the house the girls were watching a movie in the TV room. Teddy pulled her into the kitchen before she got a chance to even say hello.

"What's going on, why are you dragging me in here?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something before I go."

"OK, what is it?"

"Peggy's pregnant."

"What?! I thought you guys broke up? How far along is she?"

"About four months. Yeah, I was surprised too. I found out just before your accident, then I thought I should wait to tell the girls, but I think it's best if I tell them as soon as possible, and I thought it would be good if you were there too."

Rayna shuffled her feet a little and then looked up at Teddy.

"I guess I should tell them my news as well at the same time."

"What news?"

Rayna took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm pregnant too."

"Are you kidding me? Don't you two ever use protection!"

"Don't you?"

"I'm not the one with two accidental pregnancies under my belt with the same loser. At least Peggy is a respected member of the community."

"Who almost overdosed on sleeping pills, and talked to the press about our divorce."

"We're passed that alright."

"And Deacon and I are working through our stuff too."

"Fine, so two new siblings, the girls are going to love that."

"Well, Daphne always wanted a little sister or brother, now she'll have two."

"Let's just tell them."

"Can we wait until tomorrow? I want to tell Deacon that I'm telling them."

"Rayna, I don't want him here when we tell them, I'm not bringing Peggy."

"Well Peggy isn't the biological parent of one our daughters and Deacon is."

"Yeah, I've very well aware of that, but can this just be our thing, from the looks of things there are going to be a lot of things coming up that are yours and Deacon's things."

"OK, but let me just call him and let him know."

"Fine. I'll come back tomorrow after breakfast."

##

The next morning Rayna woke up and picked up her phone. There had been a text from Deacon on it that she'd missed from the night before.

"Thinking of you and all of our little ones."

Rayna smiled then dialed his number.

"Hey, Darlin"

"Hey Babe. Thanks for the sweet text."

"How are the girls? "

"Good, they practically jumped into my arms last night when I got home. Maddie wanted to play a song for me and Daphne had baked me a cake."

"That girl is all about the dessert."

"Hey Babe, I know that we said we were going to wait another couple of weeks before we told anyone about the baby, but I kind of had to tell Teddy last night and we were planning on telling the girls this morning."

"What? Why? I'm not happy that you told Teddy even before I told my sister."

"I know, but he told me first that, get this, Peggy is pregnant."

"Seriously? I didn't think that guy had it in him."

"I have a kid with him, remember."

"Yeah, but for some reason I always think of Daphne as being only yours."

"I should go, I just heard Teddy at the door."

"Sure, well tell me how things go."

"I will, I love you."

"I love you too Ray."

Rayna put down the phone and went to answer the door. Teddy seemed anxious when she let him in.

"How are we going to do this?"

"I don't know, this was your idea to tell them this soon. Girls, your dad is here."

Daphne came bounding down the stairs, and Maddie trailed behind her.

"Dad!" Daphne screeched.

Maddie was a bit reticent, she wasn't sure why her father was back so soon. "What are you doing here? I thought it was mom's week?"

"It is girls, but your mom and I needed to talk to you about something. Why don't we sit down here in the living room."

The last time they had done this was when they were telling them they were getting a divorce, so Rayna was anxious to express that this was good news.

"So, well, girls," Rayna stammered a bit. "Well, why don't you tell them Teddy."

"You're going to be big sisters."

Daphne was so excited she couldn't contain herself. "Oh my god, oh my god. You guys are having another baby."

"No sweetie, I mean, we both are having babies, but just not together."

"Oh my god, twins, how exciting."

"No dummy, not twins, she just said they're both having babies with _other_ people. Right?"

"Yes, you remember my friend Peggy?"

The girls shook their head, Maddie with a bit of an eye roll.

"Well she and I are having a little girl."

"Wow, a little sister, I'm going to be a big sister!"

"Half-sister Daphne, she's not going to be your full sister."

"Well, you're not even related to her."

"Yeah, but the baby mom is having is going to be my full sibling. Right? It is Deacon's?

"Of course, how many people do you think I'm having babies with? And girls it doesn't matter if you're full siblings, or half-siblings, or not blood relatives at all, we're all one big family."

"Well," Teddy interrupted. "It's going to be a few more months before the babies start coming, so we'll have plenty of time to adjust. Also, Peggy and I are going to get married before the baby comes, so you're both going to be in a wedding."

"Oh my god, a baby and a wedding?" Screamed Daphne. "Can I wear a purple dress? Purple is my favorite color."

"We'll see about that. I'm going to head home, but I'll see you girls on Saturday."

He kissed the girls good-bye and headed out the door. Daphne followed him out, but Maddie stayed behind with Rayna.

"So if you and Deacon are having a new baby are you guys going to get married too, or at least live together?"

"I don't know honey, we haven't really talked about it yet. Would you want us to live together?"

"I don't know, would you?"

"Honestly, I'd love it if we could all be one big happy family, you, and me, and Daphne and Deacon, and the new baby, but you know Deacon and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch after the accident so we'll see how things go. I do know that he's excited about having another baby."

"You mean _A_ baby. He wasn't around when I was a baby."

"I know, and that's my fault, but that doesn't mean he loves you any less."

"I guess. I have to go to study group tonight so I won't be home until later."

"8th graders have an evening study group?" Rayna seemed suspicious.

"Yeah, it's just over at Zoe's, it's every week until about 7:30, then we have dinner at her parents' house."

"Well that's real nice of her parents. I'll have to thank them."

"Sure, sometime, bye Mom, I've got to go to school."

"OK, see you tonight."


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks everyone for the nice reviews. I started this story before I heard any season 2 spoilers, so I was trying to stay optimistic as the story progressed. I love reading the angsty stories, but too much of it without any happiness depresses me. Hopefully the show writers feel the same way. **

##

When Deacon woke up the next morning after returning from the tour he wandered into his kitchen and opened the fridge. He pulled out a container of milk and smelled it, then promptly poured it down the drain.

"Great, nothing. I need someone to do my shopping while I'm away."

He pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and hopped in the 1994 Toyota pick-up truck he'd bought for $2000 right after he'd gotten out of the hospital. As he got in he thought he'd probably have to be upgrading sooner than he thought, especially if there was going to be a baby on the way. He didn't even know what type of car to get. He wasn't a mini-van type of guy, hell, he didn't even know how those car seat thingies fit into one.

As he walked through the cereal aisle he ran into Roger the manager over at the Douglas Corner Café.

"Hey man, nice to see you back in town."

"Yeah, you too, it's been a while. It feels like I've been on the road forever, but then again I'm a guitarist, what am I doing if I'm not playing."

"And you're one of the best guitarists I've ever seen."

"Thanks man."

Deacon turned back to the row of cereal boxes that lined the shelves.

"Oh hey, you'll get a kick out of this. There's a young girl, barely 16 playing open mic night on Mondays, singer songwriter, good guitarist, calling herself Claybourne. I mean, that could be her real last name, but for some reason I think it's an homage to you."

"A young girl, huh? What's she look like?"

"Tall, straight brown hair, glasses. She says her name's Madeline. She's not a relative is she?"

Deacon got a little smile on his face. "Yeah, something like that."

"Figures, she was too good for someone her age, I should have known she learned from the best. Well she's playing tonight at 8:00, you should come see her play."

"Thanks, I think I will. Oh, and Roger…she's 14."

"Good to know."

##

Later that night Deacon pulled his truck up in front of the Douglas. He walked in and gave the waitress a wave, then he sat himself down in the corner where the people playing on stage couldn't see him.

When Maddie got up to play he just beamed. He'd never felt more proud of anyone in his entire life. He almost cried when the announcer referred to her as Madeline Claybourne. There she was, his daughter, taking his last name, playing on stage just like he and her mamma had done when they were around her age.

He'd seen her play before, but up there alone in the club she seemed more grown up then he had remembered, and all of a sudden he regretted spending the last few months since the accident away from her. He'd missed out on so much already, he really didn't want to miss out on any more.

When she finished he clapped along with the rest of the audience, then planted himself at the end of the bar so she'd see him as she was coming off of the stage. Maddie looked up as she packed up her guitar and there he was.

"Deacon! I didn't see you there."

"That was real wonderful Maddie."

Maddie gave him a shy smile, she was at that age where she didn't want to admit that she needed her parents' approval, but she was exited that he seemed so pleased with her playing.

"Thanks. You're not going to tell mom that I was here, are you? She thinks I'm at a study group."

"Not if you don't want me to. This can be our little father/daughter secret. Come on. Let me take you home."

Maddie followed Deacon to his truck and put her guitar in the back. As he pulled out onto the street she turned her head to look at him. She was studying all the ways that she thought they looked alike and decided that she could definitely see the resemblance.

"Mom told me about the baby."

"Yeah? How do you feel about that."

"OK, I guess. I mean, I'll be so much older than the baby that it won't really matter."

"Hey, you're not moving out of the house yet. Don't rush it."

"Mom said you're not sure if you want to live with us or not."

"Would you want me to live with you guys?"

"Well," Maddie thought a second. "I wouldn't want him or her to miss out on growing up with its dad…I mean, I know what that's like."

Deacon looked down, he felt guilty that he wasn't there for Maddie growing up, even though it really wasn't his fault.

"I wouldn't want him or her to grow up without me either. You know, just because I'll be this baby's father since it's born doesn't mean I'll love it any more or less than I love you."

Maddie smiled and took a deep breath.

"I would like you to live with us, I mean, for the baby's sake."

"You know what? I'd like that too."

Deacon pulled the truck into the driveway at Rayna's house.

"Could you tell her that you picked me up at Zoe's?"

"Sure Darlin', if that's what you want."

The duo walked up to the front door and rang the bell. When Rayna answered she was a bit surprised.

"Now how did you two end up together?"

"Maddie called me and asked me to pick her up at her friend Zoe's."

Deacon gave her a little wink and Maddie ran into the house. "Thanks Deacon."

"No problem darlin'."

Rayna was a little puzzled as to what was going on, but she was more pleased to see Deacon at her door than she was suspicious.

"It's nice to see you. Do you want to come in?"

"I'd love that."

Rayna closed the door and she and Deacon walked into her music room. She leaned against the piano, and he rested his body next to hers.

"So, I had a nice chat with Maddie?"

"Yeah?"

"She wants me to move in with you guys."

"And what do you want?"

"I want that too Ray. I want to be there for the baby, and for you. I want to give us a chance as a real family. I don't want to miss out on raising this one."

Rayna was overjoyed. She threw her arms around Deacon's neck and was kissing him before he knew what hit him.

"I'm so happy you feel that way Babe."

"Don't get me wrong, there's a lot to work out, but I want to try. I want to be with you and the girls. I want to be a family."

Rayna kissed him softly. "We already are a family. You've always been my family."

Deacon smiled and kissed her back. It had been a crazy few months with the highest highs and the lowest lows, but he knew whatever it took to get here, it was worth it.

- The End


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